The other day, I was taking a shower & this overwhelming feeling of excitement to meet blueberry came over me (not sure why I had this in the shower…)
I wonder what he/she’ll look like. Whether blueberry will like when I sing to him/her (since I sing all the time & now he can hear me in there). How Kayla (our 2.5yr old german shepherd/sheltie) will react/interact with blueberry. She's great with other kids she's been around. when I babysit the twins, she likes to 'herd' them.
I find myself daydreaming lately about what life will be like this time next year. On a day like today (18inches of snow overnight), I'd be able to hang around home until the snow is cleared from ALL the roads (my drive in this AM was OK except the road to get into work wasn't plowed at all at 7AM!!!). Then, Kayla & I could wrap blueberry up & take him outside to play in the park (since it's not too cold out). we could come in and cuddle (I AM SOOOOOO excited about the cuddling. I really hope blueberry likes cuddling.). Then head over to Dena's to play with blueberry's twin girlfriends. I know reality will play itself out a little differently (kid screaming, hates cuddling, kayla eats something funky, etc). but I can dream :).
I do have my anxieties about being a mom. I feel like the least likely candidate (not sure why). I don't know anything about babies except from books & babysitting my 2 pairs of twins (thomas/caitlin & lorilye/abrielle)! and i'm fairly certain that things change when you can't hand the kid over to someone else & leave to have a great night's sleep... Plus I'm concerned that I know nothing about child development. When can they start on calculus? 2 or 3? (KIDDING!) Good thing I have so many close friends/family that have 'gone before me' in the child-rearing thing. I just hope that I'll be able to provide everything they need & have a little fun along the way without feeling like I should be back at work.
Stay at home Momming... this should be a post in and of itself. I've gotten such polarized reactions about this. Ultimatly, it is my & my husband's decision. We made it shortly after we got married (yes - even before we got pregnant...). And - we are lucky (? not sure if it was luck really) enough to be financially prepared (we live well below our means). But it is such a loaded issue for everyone. Either people glow & tell me how much I will LOVE it, OR they say "REALLY?! but you have such a good career - why would you give that up?" or as my mom said: "I've seen you work so hard for this job, I wouldn't want you to throw it all away!" my reply "I work hard because that's just what I do! it hasn't been necessarily for this job..." It's as if having a career like engineering means you automatically have to go right back to work after the requisite 12 weeks (where you've been pineing for mental stimulation...).
Everyone that I work with assumes I'm coming back after a short break without so much as a nod at anything else. Personally, I think it's sad. As if the pursuit of money and self has overcome the family in this society to such an extent that the alternatives to main stream middle class have been forgotten.
On that note - I'm so excited for this time next year. I'll have met my precious blueberry, I'll be getting to know him/her, and I won't have to manage huge spreadsheets all day long!
I agree that stay-at-home vs. working moms is totally loaded. What you need to know is that you find what works best for you, and what makes you feel most fulfilled and go with it! If that means you need to work to be a better mother, so be it! If that means you don't need an outside job in addition to the job of parenting, so be it! You will be great!
ReplyDeleteOn another note, if you are still looking for a good crib mattress, I might be able to help you out. Shoot me an email.
I think "to each his own," if you can afford to stay home than do it for sure. Then again there are physicians who have babies and their nannies babysit them all day long and they hardly see their kids. So sad!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you are prepared to be a mom, you've have a lot more baby experience then, say, me!!! God I don't think I'll EVER be ready to be a mom, if I ever decide to. But I strongly believe that instinct takes over when raising a baby, that you'll just know what to do or what not to do- what feels right to you, you know? I'm sure there will be a lot of times you'll think "I don't know what to do!!!" but I think most of the time you will know. It will be fun too =)